dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
