I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
