i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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