Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
