I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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