I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
