My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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