Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
