He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
