she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
