I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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