I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
