I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
