I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
