Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
