There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize