At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
