Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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