I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
vagina is talking i cant
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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