seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
