Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
