guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
