he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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