also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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