I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
