You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
