New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
where are you?
Hypothermia
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
