Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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