dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
