he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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We have started to decorate penises.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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