I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
