i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Operation Purity has been aborted
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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