In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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