you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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