I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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