Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize