Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize