I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize