It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Someone signed my nipple.
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