You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
