I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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