fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
