My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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