I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize