How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
