Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize