i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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