TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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