whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
