Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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