at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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