I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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