Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's just like the Real World with babies
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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