White coat. Heels.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
